We pass in silent hallelujahs
not knowing this
presence in softness.
In the stained glass
dust that
hungers for coloured light
looking like prayers
lifted from the mouths of
men on their knees. Absorbing
the impatience that makes glory
from confusion.
These stained glass eyes to the outside,
tint and taint the
faint little piece of life that
desires separateness – to rip these thoughts from
this man like machine,
for we seem
more like the dust than the man.
19 comments
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May 6, 2010 at 11:19 am
suzicate
Wow! This is incredible. Every line, every word is so important to bring it to it’s conclusion. I love how you go from “In the stained glass
dust that
hungers for coloured light
looking like prayers
lifted from the mouths of
men on their knees.” to we seem more like dust than the man. Your talent with words and emotion is amazing!
May 7, 2010 at 9:56 am
BFG
Thanks so much for the specifics, thanks for your time! Very nice to say so!
May 6, 2010 at 1:41 pm
brian
whew. great one. love the imagery…the stain glass especially…it evokes strong memories for me.
May 7, 2010 at 9:55 am
BFG
thanks so much! Nice to hear that it brought on some nostalgia. Thanks for reading!
May 6, 2010 at 1:45 pm
trisha
very true. wonderfully spoken. lovely poem.
May 7, 2010 at 9:54 am
BFG
why thank you! Thanks for reading!
May 6, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Ji
excellent capture of everything intended…
Happy Thursday!
May 7, 2010 at 9:54 am
BFG
Many thanks Ji!
May 6, 2010 at 2:33 pm
mairmusic
The intensity and doubt mingle to create an interesting perspective– nicely done!
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
May 7, 2010 at 9:53 am
BFG
Cheers! Many thanks!
May 6, 2010 at 2:57 pm
slpmartin
An excellent poem…I must agree with Suzicate that every lines brings power to the poem…such vivid images you create wtih this poem.
May 7, 2010 at 9:53 am
BFG
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, always appreciated!
May 6, 2010 at 4:19 pm
mudwords
What else is a poem than a ‘little piece of life that/desires separateness’. There’s some pretty fascinating imagery here – eternity, spiritual truth and the creative drive. This piece really deserves critique; great stuff.
May 7, 2010 at 9:52 am
BFG
thank you so much for saying so, very appreciated!
May 6, 2010 at 7:24 pm
shakira
I really love your first line..
very powerful first line that sets the tune off for the rest of your poem.
Brilliantly written.
you may visit me here
hugs
shakira
May 7, 2010 at 9:52 am
BFG
thanks so much!
May 21, 2010 at 4:37 am
theonlycin
This is a word painting BFG.
Beautiful.
June 1, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Kelly
I think I kind of understand the poem but I’m not exactly sure what it’s saying. Can you explain? I’m sorry. =(
June 2, 2010 at 11:30 am
BFG
Hi Kelly, thanks for reading! Perhaps, try to suggest to me what you think it is about, what it means to you – if anything. I don’t want to shape your experience with it at all, but would be very happy to have a conversation about it.
Cheers! And thanks so much for reading.